Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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