I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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