did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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