We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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