I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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