Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
