Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
