It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
