i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
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He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
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We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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