so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
