My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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