Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
