Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
