i just google imaged poop.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Life is so much better after having sex.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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