It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
