The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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