no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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