it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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