i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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