dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
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It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
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I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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