you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
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I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
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The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.