Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy