I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Randomize
