Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
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yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
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It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.