I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes