i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I have aggressive nipples.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
