Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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