No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
we made out on top of his cat.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
