If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize