she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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