I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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