you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
