No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
