whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Did you just see the Batmobile???
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
