i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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