ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
