When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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