so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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