Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
