I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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