WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
...so i touched it.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
