I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
