Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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