I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
