I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
