"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
