Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
