I smell stomach acid.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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