He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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