I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
