Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
