I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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