Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
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Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
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I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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