there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
