I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Watching her eat just hurts me
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
