I want to walk on stilts...naked
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
