This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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