Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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