don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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