I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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