I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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