id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
