I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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