i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
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Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I want her autograph on my taint
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
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Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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