just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
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