Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
