I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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